Err on the Side of Compassion

 

TRANSCRIPT:

Teachers were reacting
To an article about a former student
Who had been raped
Before she came to us
Who had not told anybody
Until after she left us

Nobody knew

How can we make sure that we know these things?
The teachers were asking

And they began to brainstorm

Student information system
Digital documentation
Communication applications

And I interrupted.

And what will you document?
You won’t know. Most of the time, you won’t know.

Then we need to ask, the teachers were saying. We need to inquire and open up that communication, and…

How?
Do you introduce yourself and ask, “Have you been raped?” Or go down the list of many, many, other possible traumas?

You won’t know. Most of the time, you won’t know.

Because you cannot know.

And did you know… it isn’t your right to know.

It isn’t your place to demand this information. You are not entitled to this.

Yes. Mandatory reporting, is a must
But until you have that trust
You might miss the signs, and the actual danger might be in the past.

Because those signs look different ways for different kids.
Often misinterpreted, or totally misread.

Trauma a year ago feels like trauma yesterday, so the past is now even though there’s nothing to report.

Yes, I know you want to help, and that this information would make it so much easier to do so. I understand this. But you won’t know. Most of the time, you won’t know.

So what can we do?

Err on the side of compassion.

If a student is struggling, assume that there is a good reason for it. Even if you are given what seems to be a weak reason, know that this may not be the only reason, or even the real reason… and err on the side of compassion.

No, this doesn’t mean become a doormat. This doesn’t mean putting up with you or others suffering abuse. I don’t speak of enabling bullying.

I speak of not being the bully.

I speak of creating a safe space. So maybe the student can share with you. If they… so choose.

I speak of empowering student voice. So they can have a say in their education, in their life, and move forward the best way they can. With or without telling you everything.

I speak of holding space. Say, I am here for you, if you need me. No judgment.

No judgment.

Err on the side of compassion.

The student who was a rape victim gained her voice over time. With a stronger voice, she was able to break her silence. And now she is serving as the voice of others.

SHE did this, this healing…. During the time she was with us. She blossomed. Without us ever knowing. We erred on the side of compassion.

So that’s what we continue to do.

For so many other students who come to us this way, this is what we do.

And there’s no app for that. This comes from heart.

 

 

 

Invisibilia Podcast

Invisibilia (Latin for invisible things) is about the invisible forces that control human behavior – ideas, beliefs, assumptions and emotions. Co-hosted by Lulu Miller, Hanna Rosin and Alix Spiegel, Invisibilia interweaves narrative storytelling with scientific research that will ultimately make you see your own life differently.”

 

Thanks to Craig for sending this “rabbit hole” — so many interesting episodes here!

Fluoroquinolone Toxicity – Resources for Healing

medicineThis is not my typical blog post, but it is an important topic in my life because taking the antibiotic Cipro almost ended my life in 2013, and the side effects still impact me.

33 million people were prescribed this class of antibiotics in 2013 alone. Thousands died, and many more suffer debilitating effects.

I’ve hobbled together a team to help me heal, or at least manage, the symptoms of Fluoroquinolone Toxicity. I’m grateful to doctors, physical & massage therapists, and loved ones for helping me through.  A special shoutout to Deena for sending me probiotics that actually worked (anyone can contact me if they want information on that).

Meanwhile, here’s a list of resources that people might find informative on what happened, and how can healing happen.

 

Resources

 

PubMed Research Article: Oxalate consumption by lactobacilli: evaluation of oxalyl-CoA decarboxylase and formyl-CoA transferase activity in Lactobacillus acidophilus – “Identification of probiotic strains with oxalate-degrading activity can offer the opportunity to provide this capacity to individuals suffering from an increased body burden of oxalate and oxalate-associated disorders.”

 

Wikipedia Page on Oxalobacter Formigenes – O. Formigenes are needed to properly process/digest certain types of foods, and Quinolone can kill O. Formigenes.

 

Floxie Hope Post: Fluoroquinolone Antibiotics and Oxalate Overload – discusses in more accessible language the impact that these antibiotics can have on the digestive system. Also includes more resource links for healing from the impacts. 

 

Mytavin Calculator – Enter the medication and see what nutrients might have been impacted by it.  When I enter Ciprofloxacin, I see a list that I wish I had been given right away!

 

FDA Drug Safety Communication: “FDA advises restricting fluoroquinolone antibiotic use for certain uncomplicated infections; warns about disabling side effects that can occur together.”  Finally, after years of people suffering, and many deaths, the FDA issued this warning in May 2016.  UPDATED announcement was issued on July 26, 2016.  It also lists the known side effects, and the antibiotics in this class (including Cipro and Levaquin).

 

Floxie Hope Post: Fluoroquinolone Toxicity Featured in the Movie “The East” – I found the comments out there about this movie to be interesting.  People are saying that the parts of the plot about the medication to be over-the-top and how that would never be able to happen for so long! And yet this is the reality of so many people who were beginning to wonder if the FDA was somehow protecting the pharmaceutical company. Oh wait…

 

Former FDA Commissioner Charged in RICO Lawsuit – A Federal Lawsuit charges Dr. Margaret Hamburg, former Commissioner of the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) with conspiracy, racketeering & colluding to conceal deadly drug dangers – under the federal Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations law (RICO) law. The amended RICO lawsuit was filed on April 11, 2016 in the U.S. District Court in Washington DC on behalf of eight plaintiffs who claim they have suffered severe harm by ingesting the drug, Levaquin whose deadly risks were concealed to protect financial interests.

 

~*~

 

Learn to be Lonely

There was a time when I would have claimed this as my life’s theme song. I first came across it synched with a Lord of the Rings video compilation that included Galadriel, responding to Frodo saying he cannot do the task alone, by informing him that “To bear a Ring of Power is to be alone.”

My earliest memories, about age 3, include handling crisis situations while either without a parent present, or said parent was an emotional puddle (and likely compounding the crisis). My upbringing nurtured a sense of “otherness.” Being in a culture that didn’t align with my anthropologist views created an “I must have been dropped off by aliens” feeling.

But the wilderness, and the animals in it, made sense. Sometimes I would wander off, sometimes run, heading toward water or trees or both. There, I belonged. There, I still do.

It’s a beautiful song. Enjoy!

 

Learn to be Lonely

by Minnie Driver

Child of the wilderness
Born into emptiness
Learn to be lonely
Learn to find your way in darkness

Who will be there for you
Comfort and care for you
Learn to be lonely
Learn to be your one companion

Never dreamed out in the world
There are arms to hold you
You’ve always known your heart was on its own

So laugh in your loneliness
Child of the wilderness
Learn to be lonely
Learn how to love life that is lived alone

Learn to be lonely
Life can be lived, life can be loved alone

 

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